arisuchan    [ tech / cult / art ]   [ λ / Δ ]   [ psy ]   [ ru ]   [ random ]   [ meta ]   [ all ]    info / stickers     temporarily disabledtemporarily disabled

/feels/ - personal experiences

share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Name
Email
Subject
Comment

formatting options

File
Password (For file deletion.)

Help me fix this shit. https://archive.arisuchan.jp/q/res/2703.html#2703

Kalyx ######


File: 1520124398435.jpg (53.67 KB, 1110x720, -1.jpg)

 No.1339[Reply]

what are the happy things in life?

what good things have happened recently?

what helps alice keep going when things are hard?

share some happy thoughts. i hope /feels/ is a little less sad today.
38 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2092

>what good things have happened recently?
I know it's not much (or anywhere near as cool or impactful as other's experiences), but I've had a huge change in perspective! (I won't bore with details)

My happy things, have been the recent kind words of encouragement from people that I never thought cared! It's a wonderful feeling to know that there are real people who'd go out of their way to talk to you and help you.

 No.2106

testing anonamionity

 No.2308

>>1393
It snows heavy right now and it will be even harder tomorrow. Wandering around city through snowy city is peak comfy feeling

 No.2309

>>1339
just working on music and biking around its really fun/relaxing lol

 No.2311

No matter how bad things get I always have this place to call home. To the lurkers who are reading this. There are many. You are not alone.



File: 1519522462611.jpg (58.11 KB, 1600x1071, reaching-hand1.jpg)

 No.1313[Reply]

Hey Alice, as the subject states, What do you want most in life and why?
74 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2183

>>2182
Sorry, i see how my post was confusing.
We are comparing [the comparison of price to wage] in one country to [the comparison of price to wage] in another country.
The double comparison makes it kindof hard to wrap your head around at first.

If you read the map super closely, you'll see that the figures are PPP,
which means they show the amount of money adjusted for the difference in prices.
So you see, in the United States, you can buy more with your earnings than you can in _almost_ any other country.

Of course, you might be a Saudi or a Swede and say,
"yea but actually i was comparing their purchasing power to my own, and i still think it's low."
That's the sole reason why i mentioned the fact that it "depends on what you compare to".
Unless you're comparing the ratio of wage to price in the US to the ratio of wage to price in the UAE or a few other countries,
it isn't accurate to say that it is low.

 No.2291

File: 1544796989105.gif (499.53 KB, 500x333, giphy.gif)

To try again and to stop hating myself.
It fucking hurts dwelling on all the soykaf I wish I could do over again, eventually ill accept it.

 No.2301

I want self-discipline. After that, everything will probably come. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

To stop being shy for no fucking reason. To travel and to be aware of everything around me and to not let the moments that make up the dull days tick away.

 No.2302

emotional comfort
to be able to live independently and freely

 No.2310

>>1330
Well said.



File: 1542260431602.png (72.54 KB, 420x364, my-precious-food.png)

 No.2184[Reply]

How's Alice feel about food? Any particular likes? Dislikes?
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2259

you should probably kill me

 No.2260

>>2259
I wonder what your diagnosis is/would be.

>>2256
I'm simply elaborating on what I meant in >>2190

 No.2261

>>2260
bored

 No.2298

I think I will always like anything fried or heated foods. I don't think I have every liked anything that is very watery or cold. Of the meat categories, Chicken would have to be my favorite. Sometimes I can go without feeling hungry for a while if I am occupying myself with something else. I wish I had a wider taste in drinks because most of the drinks I try i end up not enjoying.

 No.2299

I really like savory, salty, fatty foods. Consequently I've become pretty good at making soups and stews, and I put effort into incorporating vegetables and legumes to keep it somewhat healthy. As a bonus these foods are relatively cheap if cooked from scratch and can be prepared in large batches. It's pretty basic, but I could probably eat stew everyday as long as I change up the recipe from week to week.



File: 1543721189710.jpg (Spoiler Image, 556.61 KB, 1440x810, 532-1-1416749152.jpg)

 No.2219[Reply]

So I was having some random ideas about situations where one person hurts another (it is an accident) and the other retaliates (accident goes out of control) so authorities step in and all sides lose. The side that lost most tangibly will harbor a deep resentment towards both the other side and the authorities, and more often than not decide that the world is a free for all death match, anyone who didn't help them until now were against them. This situation may sound extreme, but it happens all the time in some shape or form. Usually no party has the time, dedication and resources to fully understand what happened, and often (when people are scarred or die, or irreplaceable things get destroyed) there is no way to fix things. Most of justice is just concerned with determent-based prevention, and little is done to repair the past.

I grew up with good parents in a relatively peaceful country. We don't have guns and wars and other bullsoykaf, I never feared walking outside at night, I never had to be afraid of getting beaten or kidnapped. So even though there's always a chance for things to get irreversibly fucked up, for most of the time I felt safe.
What I realized about safety is that you can never create it yourself - someone or something that is neither you nor your puppet has to be looking out for you. This could be your family, the state and police, doctors, teachers, neighbors, generally benevolent people on the street and so on. Perhaps even some security system or machine, if its autonomous enough. It takes something big to secure even something small. You sleep, you may lose consciousness or get hurt, you may forget or get confused, you are not a reliable source and manager of your own safety. Still you strive for it and make choices that generally benefit it, avoiding acts that weaken it.

But then something changed. I'm not sure when, but I stopped honoring things that keep me safe. I don't make any effort to keep a social circle up, and those few close people who can provide some form of safety I treat badly, distancing them. I feel uninterested in making choices that benefit me, and I do reckless things that might affect me badly later. I think I realized how hopeless preparation for misfortune is and stopped. My health, studies, privacy, best practices slowly deteriorate over time and I let them. It makes sense to fight an enemy, but there is none here. You cannot name it or point at it, and the entire world by definition Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
36 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2286

>>2284
you're right though, I do want to stop coming back. just bull-headed

 No.2287

>>2280

Someone who isn’t some newfag’s sockpuppet. I don’t have to have a personal stake in the argument to hate the self-important, IQ-spouting elitism that plagues obscure chans. If you think coming to Arisuchan somehow makes you more intelligent than users of Uboa or Systemspace, you’re deluded.

I read your hypothetical, and I’ll give you that one. soykafting on newcomers does make them learn faster, ignoring the fact that it is more likely to make them leave instead of learning the board culture.

The anime-worshipping behavior you mentioned isn’t a meme, it’s an expression of the board’s values personified by Lain. The same can be said about glorifying cybersecurity, it’s an exaggeration of our values.

 No.2288

File: 1544663869731.jpg (157.41 KB, 900x900, fern-fractal-maade-tuule.jpg)

>>2287
>If you think coming to Arisuchan somehow makes you more intelligent than users of Uboa or Systemspace, you’re deluded.
It's the other way around. I'm intelligent in the first place and that makes me come to arisu where I sometimes find intelligent and thus interesting posts while find little braindead brewing soykaf. Meanwhile systemspace if full of said low effort brewing soykaf which physically hurts me, so I avoid it. It's the same pain as playing certain board games with my godfathers' 8yo son - he thoroughly enjoys them while I wanna claw my eyes out. At my age throwing dice and following simple instructions is predictable and absolutely boring. So to clearly state my point arisuchan doesn't make anyone or anything elite, instead intelligent, quality or informative posts and the people who write them make arisuchan cool. The low ratio of braindead bullsoykaf makes it even cooler.

I had the opportunity to encounter all kinds of (supposedly diagnosed) schizophrenic and other mentally ill <or whatever is politically correct here> people on systemspace, and our lowercasenospace friend here feels and sounds just like one of them. He may or may not be so, but it seems to me his style and patterns fit uboa or systemspace better than it does arisu
>ignoring the fact that it is more likely to make them leave instead of learning the board culture.
I'm more concerned with keeping users who might go away seeing his 3-5 post bursts of somewhat confused posts than him going away. In general I'm also more concerned with board quality than speed.

>The anime-worshipping behavior you mentioned isn’t a meme, it’s an expression of the board’s values personified by Lain. The same can be said about glorifying cybersecurity, it’s an exaggeration of our values.

Which is pretty cool right until the point where some people begin to confuse the mascot/expression with the values, and the values become secondary.

 No.2289

File: 1544706419159.jpg (518.78 KB, 1920x1200, 111.jpg)

>>2288
I do feel the same way, there's something that ruins communities when you let in too much people, for some reason obscure websites don't follow a normal distribution of interesting people, it's more like people there fall either into two extremes, the intelligent and interesting ones and the people which are well sometimes a bit under the normal people. Normal as in these people you'd usually encounter on websites like Reddit. These are the worst and are even worse than either of those extremes usually encountered on chans.

I really wish there would be a place which is more active and which doesn't have so many people who just post the standard nonsense, like memes and stuff. Truly interesting people that have their own ideas about the world and do want to discuss them, people who like to discuss feelings not in the "TFW no GF" way, but in a more hopeful and in-depth way….

I usually don't post here because I'm not that interested in talking with most people in general and prefer 1-to-1 conversations.

I think it's also something that most people can't have in real life, usually the people in real life also fall in the "boring people" category who just follow some kind predictable pattern, not all but quite many, which makes it hard to find people you can do more than just give standard answers to standard questions in a somewhat pre-defined conversations.

>>2287
> I don’t have to have a personal stake in the argument to hate the self-important, IQ-spouting elitism that plagues obscure chans.
There's a very real effect on when a website becomes more popular and let's all kind of soykaf in they turn to soykaf usually sooner or later, people are to a certain extent aware of this fact and usually try to do something against it, usually they're themselves pretty annoying (in some form). If discussions are usually high-quality then nobody would write something like that.

 No.2290

File: 1544758401341.jpeg (42.64 KB, 474x470, ofmatter.jpeg)

>>2288
>It's the other way around. I'm intelligent in the first place and that makes me come to arisu where I sometimes find intelligent and thus interesting posts while find little braindead brewing soykaf.

I know that many of the members of this board are intelligent, but it comes across as egotistical to insult someone's IQ and tell them to go to somewhere less elite. Even if you may be intelligent (which is evident, based on your post quality), there's a level of diplomacy necessary when dealing with those that don't belong on a board this small, at least in my opinion.

>I'm more concerned with keeping users who might go away seeing his 3-5 post bursts of somewhat confused posts than him going away. In general I'm also more concerned with board quality than speed.


That's a fair point, there's nothing I can say about that.

>>2289

>[…] it's more like people there fall either into two extremes, the intelligent and interesting ones and the people which are well sometimes a bit under the normal people.


I've noticed this as well on other sites. I suspect some of that is caused by people who are trying to find the most obscure boards they can and never spending much time on any one board as a result.

>Truly interesting people that have their own ideas about the world and do want to discuss them, people who like to discuss feelings not in the "TFW no GF" way, but in a more hopeful and in-depth way….


The nature of places like this is what drove me into the arms of Lain in the first place. This is one of the rare havens I know of where interesting people come to gather to have worthwhile discussions.



I'm sorry if I've been a bit harsh.



File: 1544466695081.jpg (40.88 KB, 430x340, playstation-logo.jpg)

 No.2275[Reply]

https://www.technologyreview.com/s/612558/universal-income-vs-the-robots-meet-the-presidential-candidate-fighting-automation/

I feel entrepreneurs establishing policy is a step in the right direction. Granted he's an economics major it's the downstream effect Trump had on the political system that is ultimately re-framing or changing to a greater degree the American ideal of a politician. At the very least candidates that would not have been able to run before may now do so hopefully based on a platform centered more-so around reason. Otherwise there stands the possibility of four more years.

I could be wrong in thinking this would be the outcome but who cares


File: 1543986307077.jpg (51.34 KB, 504x631, Doors-72dpi-1.jpg)

 No.2236[Reply]

should you try to fix things or just leave them broken?
For years now I've been feeling the need to do both. It's tearing me in half.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2241

>>2240
sort of like "the way is no way"
Side note: that's hemingway. I always hated that quote.

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

 No.2242

>>2240
i agree in changing the way you view things is a solution, not viewing things between a fixed or broken imperative but I don't think the consistency in action is completely arbitrary. Then again you may not have meant it this way. It's becoming more and more apparent that there's a relatively normal substrate to becoming or feeling better. It's arbitrary in so far as everyone has their own arbitrary inclinations to aligning themselves with that substrate, but those arbitrary inclinations seem to align on a particular set of stepping stones. it's generalizing but things like family friends and a over-arching goal seem to fit ninety percent of people.

 No.2243

>>2241
it's just hellish knowing you're going to break either before while or after you find those things.

As much as i enjoyed Hemingway I dislike the idea of breaking unduly at least. That leads me to worry that the break may be fatal.

But again it doesn't matter. I agree with you, arbitrary or no, it's consistency. I just have to do something and find out. I'd tell myself to quit bitching but it's more like stop the negative feedback loop. So fixing or leaving it broken doesn't work but re-framing the picture and changing the door of perception.

 No.2244

>>2237
>>2240

Not trying to waste time or fish a line
or burn effort needlessly just cant help over thinking. Have to try every option

 No.2245

thank you



File: 1543275281345.jpg (45.93 KB, 720x480, Photo on 01.04.18 at 01.09….jpg)

 No.2213[Reply]

Someone I know ties everything about themselves to their sexuality. They dont get that that's not what I cared about in the least. They'll deny it and call me delusional but really what is the point. That's just how I feel. There's no conversation really just assumptions made so why not make assumptions as well. Frankly it's the only reason I'm still alive. It's a strange love hate relationship where I feel the need to disprove others assumptions both out of anger yet also out of understanding. Then again that's the same as with every interaction with everything ever. That's being. Rationally there's no reason to feel one way or the other about it since it's perceptions held by different people for various motivations. The only thing to do is work one's way out of the problem and commit to the actionable while acting as ethically as possible. I have to do this even while killing myself is always on the table. Why? I dont really know. I dont know, I'm super dumb lol I dont know dude like come on I'm a killjoy

 No.2214

File: 1543276255954.jpg (39.31 KB, 1200x500, v2-55bcc3bfe09d66df2bc88a4….jpg)

I didnt want to do things this way. It was really the only way I could try and fix the problem or really understand what happened. It didnt completely work and that's fine. You dont care and I'm dealing with things. I guess I over judged my value to you. I'm just going to keep going. Have a conversation or continue with assumptions, either way works for me. I'm sorry. Seriously I should have been a little more graceful but better than being dead. I'd say goodbye but I'm sure that'd piss someone off. I'm super cool and regret nothing. Only way to go three layers deep playa

 No.2215

If I dont leave and keep fighting to understand this way, I actually will kill myself. That's life, when you're not strong enough that's what happens.

But yeah whatever pussy

 No.2216

"Yeah you would think that wouldn't you" - guyoninternet

 No.2217

File: 1543458008927.jpg (37.26 KB, 540x320, 6bd140673d32a463293e5de5f1….jpg)

Youre forgiven

 No.2218

You know it could be worse is what I keep telling myself. Thank you



File: 1542941071477.jpg (207.63 KB, 1280x881, tumblr_oskm06BouB1tliecbo1….jpg)

 No.2204[Reply]

can love bloom on the battlefield

 No.2205

It can't bloom at all.

 No.2206

>>2205
that really is too bad

 No.2207

File: 1543005238704.jpg (15.04 KB, 225x225, index.jpg)


 No.2208

>>2205
I guess that's correct. Then what does love do?



File: 1542857286763.jpg (169.72 KB, 736x588, d9e0b573fc601b184dd42e6320….jpg)

 No.2199[Reply]

ihooh

 No.2200

i wish i was dead

 No.2201

>>2200
mood

 No.2202

File: 1542928087510.jpg (138.9 KB, 768x1041, drowning_in_mood_by_quiet_….jpg)

>>2201
such an ugly mood indeed

 No.2203

>>2201
you're slipping



File: 1542780929755.jpg (39.87 KB, 960x640, k12s3zv7qvy11.jpg)

 No.2198[Reply]

Hello, Alice.
I always had this feeling, this sensation that i'm close to death.
This feeling is stronger than never these days, i really feel that, anytime, anywhere, i'll be dead.
And i feel that i'm going to be the cause of death. It feels like that i'm close to kill myself, that i should do it, that the reason of being alive is to die quick as possible.
Sometimes i feel like i really should kill myself, not because of depressive thoughts and feelings (it does happens, sometimes), but because it feels like that i should, and i sense that i'm really close of doing it.
I don't know what to think about this.
I have other weird thoughts and feelings.
OH, i've got another one.
It happened only three times.
Last year i was in my couch, laying down, staring at the ceiling, when all of sudden, i started to hear a song. I wasn't recalling a song that i've heard before, it was my creation, and i really heard it. The song was a cavaquinho playing a bossa nova rythm, it lasted for like 15 seconds, then stopped.
It happened again last month. I was in my bedroom, again, staring at the ceiling, when i started to hear a prog song. It had a keyboard, a guitar, a bass, drums, back vocalls, violin. The song was beautiful. The song lasted for a much longer time, and by the pass of the song, i started to see something like a memorie from the future, there was me, going to music school, people talking to me, and other stuff that i don't remember, but, in the end of the song, i saw myself, in the same room that i was, in the same position that i was, in the same bed, but older (it was a first person view, by the way), i had white fur in my chest and belly. The music and the visions stopped in that point, when the main vocal said ''It happens all the time''. The music was blue, the visions was blue, every feeling i felt in that moment, were blue. I even looked at my notebook and around my room when i started hearing it, but the music stopped when i did that, but when i went back to my bed, it started again.
When the music stopped, i got out of my bed and started to think about what happened.
I went back to bed, then it happened again. It was an afro-cuban jazz (i don't know, really, but it sounded like it), with a acoustic guitar playing, alongside with percussion instruments and a voice singing acapella. The guitar was pretty simples, i still remember it chords and tempo and stuff, but the percussion and the acapella were crazy,Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


Delete Post [ ]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23]
[ Catalog ]