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/feels/ - personal experiences

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Help me fix this shit.

Kalyx ######

File: 1501873466075.png (2.18 MB, 1520x1080, 1427441472655.png)


tldr: I'm searching for another lonely soul to collaborate on a programming project with me.

Since I had reached adolescence, I struggled to connect with people. Though I was at least partially contented with this, in recent years the feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose became unbearable.
Although I am not in any way ambitious in terms of career, after I had gotten my first job, my work became for me the source of meaning in life. The feeling of pointles-sness was contested by the obvious purpose I then had. But then mundaneness of my life swallowed my work too, and it became routine.

But I'm young, and as young people often do, I can still find comfort (and joy :) ) in education.
The problem here is that learning anything becomes difficult due to (again) the perceived lack of purpose.
Doing it with someone else is, on the other hand, is a whole nother deal :)

I'm a programmer (well, sort of) in my early twenties, and I'm searching for a person who would like to dedicate some of their time to a side project of sorts. Ideally, we would choose an area of knowledge (a programming language, a programming methodology, or perhaps even just a particular framework) that we both are not familiar with and try to implement something idiomatic in it.

I believe the collaboration would be proven beneficial for both of us.


I feel the same… I just can't cope with it anymore
I love to learn many things but at the same time I get distracted too easily by new thoughts and fields, so all I know is like a bit about everything but nothing special any particular field.. so the lack of motivation keeps myself from studying anything with depth
so I don't know if I would be good or enjoyable enough…


I'd be down OP. Why don't you start with laying out some things you'd be interested in? Even if we can't find something in common, it would be helpful for another passerby I'm sure. I'm a web developer, and fuck it gets boring sometimes. I'm currently learning Elixir and Rust, the former because I want to know a functional language, the latter because I want to know a systems language. As you say, it's hard to stay motivated without a purpose though.


OP I'm 21 and I know that feeling very well.

Do answer whether you'd want to collaborate with someone or just find yourself a friend.
Somebody who would listen to you and actually give a fuck when you talk about abstract problems.

I lived alone since I was 15, with no parents, in rented rooms. Although I have zero social anxiety and am considered extraordinarily good talker, in the end I am all alone, 95% of day, abt 70% of which in front of a pc. Even when I do find somebody to spend time with, I may look up to them as if they were a monkey or vegetable. They would not care about me, nor would I find them as interesting as Id want to. In the end Im just too fucking antisocial.

Please note that learning:
Is always the fastest when done by yourself, alone, in your own tempo, from books. You can read hundreds words per minute, as for listening to sb I dont know.
Learning slows down when its not fun for you.
You want to have fun while learning with friends
Friends will disappoint you, as they have aleady done so over and over in the past.

Now I hope that you never listen to me:
Being a lone wolf is one of the greatest lives you could wish for. And modafinil, good diet, exercise, meditation and more modafinil - they do fucking help. Have fun


friends will disappoint you.

They would miss online appointments.
You wouldnt make friendship for life.
They wouldnt be interested in your monologue.
They wouldnt come up with an idea that would get you hooked up, nor vice versa.
They wouldnt be logged on when you wish to talk to sb.
They wouldnt have as charizmatic voices over voip as youd imagine them to.
They would be shallow. Or you'd appear shallow to them.
People would be stupid more or less than you, hardly ever the perfect equal. I can imagine why you are looking here, on ani image board
Personally I love to create drama sometimes. I feel the worst when sb is non dramatizable!
You wouldnt always feel easy when talking with them.
Not stating the obv., that they may sometimes fuck up.

Jesus Christ fuck my life.


I feel the same, I see so many possible interesting things to do, but it's really hard for me to actually get into anything. I have experience in C++, did mostly some (unfinished) game-dev. Trying to learn Haskell right now.


>Being a lone wolf is one of the greatest lives you could wish for
It's a difficult skill to obtain. For some personalities it's harder than for the others.
(And I'm so fucking jelous of people who can be by themselves for a week without even a word spoken to them, and not spiral down in painful rumination, obsessive thoughts and general misery.

Not everyone can turn their lonelessness into solitude.


>>466 >>464 >>463 >>462
OP here. I have a relatively modest experience with Java EE (from my work), but I'm interested in all things functional.
I know small bits of Scala, Haskell and various lisps (scheme (more), clojure (less)).
I'm very interested in Rust, but I have no experience with it. Its type system seems so cool though.
In recent days I was fiddling with a tiny (<100 loc) DSL in Scala.


Sometimes I cravenly dream about the times to come and imagine that after the arrival of consumer-ready AI literally all these bullet points will be proven moot.


It looks like you are making things more complicated than they should be. As a programmer, I'd expect you to seek out the simplest solution. I know I do.

Anyway, ask yourself what you're actually after. Friendship? Motivation? Knowledge? Don't try to combine them, that'll just make reaching them more complicated.

I always believed in the benefits of self learning, so I'm not going to help you so early on your quest. But I'll tell you this, whatever your goal is, diversifying your means to get there is key.


OP here again.
My email:
If you are in any way interested, send me a letter.

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