Maybe call a helpline? You should see a doctor
Stay true to what you believe in. Doesn't matter if you're living up to it; make it your light. The mind is a forest and you live in the cabin of You. You're not the forest, so don't sweat about what you see in it. The beasts that roam outside are fear and hate, and it's very much animal as you are human. Ignore it when you can… when you can't, know it will not kill you. Learn it and yourself in those encounters and you'll be stronger. Chill, man.
In the meantime, do seek help. Just because you're going through this doesn't mean you're schizo, but that doesn't mean you won't benefit from help either. Trust yourself and keep your spirits up!
Obviously you should go take a bunch of DMT in one go.